Meijer LPGA is intense and adidas dropped a golf romper lol. I’m sure it will look good on some people but not me ;-).
I just finished a mini Golfari at Pine Needles with Donna Andrews. I’ve never seen a nicer practice set up, Donna was amazingly nice and she really wanted me to get better. I realized that I learn by watching and now I have this nice picture in my head. It’s so nice to not just be swinging as hard as I can at the ball. I love all things golf but I never thought I’d actually understand what I was doing. Very humbling. Thanks for letting me post, if I told that to the guys I played with at work they’d probably end up texting my golf swing videos all night.
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Long time pod listener, just joined the community yesterday, and first post today. Happy to see a group of ladies in here, I thought I’d be the only one! I’m an avid player who enjoys all kinds of golf - “hit and giggle” rounds (with birdie juice!), casual rounds, and competitive rounds with my club and the VSGA. I look forward to getting connected.
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Welcome! Where in Virginia do you play?
Thank you! Spotsylvania VA, Fawn Lake Country Club.
Welcome!!!
Thank you. And I happened to add the #NLURefuge tag on Peloton and found you on there too!
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My playing partners laughed at the no laying up logo on my new shirt, they didn’t know what about the pod. Great way to start a round 
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Venting/asking here:
Has anyone else gotten unsolicited (and rather unwelcome) golf advice while on the range from a rando?
If so, how the fuck do you get them to go away politely?
So, some backstory:
While on the range, there’s one gui who came over a week or so ago to tell me that I spend too much time over the ball (yes, thank you, anxiety has been one of my biggest issues that I’m trying to work on, and yes, I know it doesn’t help me). He first showed me a timer on his phone to give me how long I hovered over my last couple of balls, and then after spending entirely too long enjoying the sound of his own voice, departed with:
“I’ll be watching you next time you practice and next time you play.”
It felt slightly threatening and fairly creepy, especially when I am up at the range on my own or playing on my own. Also, why is he looking at me so closely that he timed me and my anxious-ass golf swing?
While I fully realize he’s an elementary school PE teacher and probably meant zero harm, the experience has made it so that I avoid being at the range at the same time as him. Today, he showed up probably about 15 or so minutes before I was about to be done, but once I saw him pulling in I finished my chip and then packed up and left.
I dunno exactly what I’m going for with this post, but it bothers me that someone made me uncomfortable enough to leave before I was done. As one of the few women at the club, I already feel like everyone is watching and judging me (and finding me lacking). Having that confirmed in an actual encounter was not helpful in shaking off that feeling.
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Sorry no good advice…but you’re a billion percent in the right
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I wonder what his response would be if a stranger bothered him with needless critique while he was practicing. I don’t think he’d just sit there and listen and nod and say “oh thank you so much for the feedback, I was really hoping you would help me out here.”
Just as he is allowed to exist at the golf course without people bothering him, so are you.
I got some advice from someone I took a few lessons with last year. I haven’t actually had to use it, so try at your own discretion. This is what she told me to do: If someone comes up to you offering unsolicited feedback or help, ask him if he is a PGA professional. He’ll say “no,” at which point you just let him know you are taking lessons from a professional and do not need his feedback.
Granted I don’t know if that statement is true for you, so either lie or edit as you see fit. Simply, when he confirms he is not a professional teacher/has no actual training, tell him you’re not interested in his coaching and want to be left alone.
I struggle so much with anxiety on the golf course too, and even the thought of someday having to tell someone to leave me alone while I’m practicing is enough to make me avoid going altogether. I hate being rude or making anyone around me feel uncomfortable, ever. Even if they made me uncomfortable first. (anxiety, you win again!) But I always tell myself before going to a driving range alone that if it does happen, my response has to be direct. Personal space, privacy, and safety are not up for debate.
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It’s easy to say “Be assertive and tell him you aren’t interested in his advice and to leave you alone”, but as someone who avoids any conflict at all cost, I know that’s pretty unrealistic for a lot of people. Whenever this discussion has come up, the easiest response (shortest and least likely to cause a scene/conflict) is what @justine said. If you want to be even more direct (on the extreme outside chance they actually are a professional?) you just say some variation of “Thanks, but I’m already working with a coach”…which is also easier said than done.
Also, agree with the ‘Fuck that guy’ sentiment.
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Related, last week at the range, there was a woman that spent the entire time she was there having a conversation on her phone via airpods. At first I thought it was odd and possibly a little rude to be carrying on a phone conversation on the driving range, but after a while, it crossed my mind that she may be doing it on purpose to avoid people trying to ‘give her advice’.
So maybe try that tactic?
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I tried wearing headphones yesterday at the range, but I’ve got small, weird ears and they didn’t stay in well enough that they felt secure, so I was swinging a little strange for a bit because I was unconsciously trying to make sure they didn’t fall out.
But my worry about the headphones thing is that while they are a clear “pls don’t disturb me” it also means that my ability to monitor what’s going on around me is dulled. I suppose it doesn’t much matter at the range, as few dangerous things are likely to happen, but it’s a weird “add a layer of security/take away a layer of security” thing.
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I’ve tried wearing earbuds on practice sessions before and have experienced similar drawbacks to using them, so I understand. Would be nice if we all could just learn to leave each other alone on the range unless we specifically ask someone to come over and have a look.
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Something I admit I will never truly understand the feeling of, and why it’s so easy for men to say ‘just tell them to buzz off’. The majority of us have never had to walk anywhere with our keys between our knuckles ‘just in case’.
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So, I don’t think you do. Guys like this don’t respond to politeness (they see that as an invitation). I think there is a degree of appropriateness to “this guy is being rude to me so I can be rude to him.” I know it’s tough to say “Hey, I"m just in my process and not interested in feedback/additional swing thoughts”. Or even, “there’s lots of people out here, what’s so bad about what I’m doing that you’re singling me out?”.
I know that’s super tough and it’s bullshit that he gets to add negativity to your day without it even registering to him that he made your day worse. Re-reading your retelling, I’m so uncomfortable for you. That’s such a highly unpleasant encounter. Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt that he meant zero harm, it’s not a coincidence that he selected a woman who is presumably younger than him to single out and place himself in a position of superiority to…
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It’s funny, because his words didn’t really bother me until I went up to the club on my own these past couple of days—when @Renlibrarian was with me, I don’t think Sir Asshat even entered my mind.
I think my new goal for the year should be to be more rude to people who deserve it.
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This is such a good goal honestly for everyone. Too many people out there, myself included, have a people pleaser mentality to our own detriment. Being more rude in order to get your own personal space/time back is really doing nothing but being kind to yourself really.
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I heard a woman snap back to a creep one day in california which I thought was magical: “fuck off pervert. I don’t care if you think I’m being rude, I care that you are ruining my experience with unsolicited advice, so, again, please fuck all the way off… thanks”
Virtually word for word from my recollection. Most everyone in the other bays laughed and applauded. The guy next to her — I couldn’t say if they’d met or were friends or complete strangers — literally high-fived her.
90% of men — I hope and believe — want not to make any woman uncomfortable, particularly on a golf course or adjacent type practice facility.
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