Fellow midwesterners that gather in the House of Culvers at the alter of ope I come before you not with a message of good news. It’s still cold here. The demonic weather apps are spouting lies of temps that begin with 4s and 5s, yet here we are firmly entrenched in cold and frigid temps outside. Some of us are even cursed with new snow.
No, I am here before you with a message of HOPE. Stay strong my friends, warmer times are right around the corner. Soon we will emerge from the simulator caves reborn in the light of a sunrise tee time. Soon we will put in the time with our families only to end the day with the twilight sun’s sweet sweet reduced rate. Soon we will all bathe in the sky blue waters of Green Lake, connecting through brandy old fashioneds, tales of the pull hooks, bombed drives, chunks, flushed irons, hazards, and hot putters.
Our time is near. But remember, it’s always darkest before the dawn. Take care of one another. Take care of yourself. Engage with the silk road, get yo popcorn and track the fall of the FPC with tales from the inside, worship with the cult of the blade, make a poll, or post only gifs.
But REMEMBER, the end is near. We will rise again! Outside! On an actual golf course! With GREEN GRASS! And the SUN! And
WE
WON’T
NEED
A
JACKET!!
1. 
The plug continues to deliver. He’s the Edward Lewis to my Vivian Ward. Since First Edition rankings were published, he’s gone and planned out another golf weekend in May.
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12. 
Gone, but Not Forgotten.
