I’ve been thinking about this for much of the day, especially since a women’s golf Facebook group has been discussing it (and shockingly most say it’s a joke and move on).
Denigrating anyone or group to make a joke is bad, plain and simple. Would people be outraged if Tiger joked that JT hit it like a disabled golfer? Absolutely and justifiably. But he wouldn’t have said that. We know that Ralph Lauren pulled what was likely a multimillion-dollar deal with JT when JT said of himself that he putted like a word I will not use.
So why is it OK to say you hit it “like a girl”? Most of the women I know are strong, courageous and can withstand way more than men – exhibit A: childbirth.
My dad, born in the 1920s, used to say after a bad shot, “My grandmother could have hit that better!” I asked him to stop saying that because it wasn’t nice to his grandmother. He stopped saying that. If a 90-year-old man can change his habits, anyone can. (If his grandmother from the west of Ireland played golf, she probably would have given him a run for his money!)
Finally, I never want girls and young women to feel like they can’t play with men or with anyone. Golf is such a great sport, and we need more women to play and not feel intimidated in any way.
Edit at the top: @Sarah’s answer is better, as always.
Gonna steal these from another thread where this conversation was happening, except disagree with Egledhill completely.
Protein bar: Skinny and/or weak men are not a historically marginalized group and very much still in the safe zone for jokes amongst male friends. Also lacking muscle is not often an immutable quality, if you want to get stronger there’s a good chance you can do so with dietary and workout changes. No issue here.
ED: While a bit thornier, and something men will be more sensitive about, I think is another good comparison point. In that we’ve completely normalized as a culture (especially amongst the golf viewing public!!) ED ads, access to pills, etc. Again, another safe zone for men to make jokes at one another’s expense.
Whereas menstruation and its associated care products are very much not treated as normal casual things in that same space.
Both would’ve been better alternatives in that they are jokes men are making about themselves and one another, not making at the expense of women, who are historically made to feel unwelcome, especially in golf.
Now are either of those particularly good or funny jokes?
But distinctly better than the route Tiger went.
Don’t mean to intrude too much or derail this conversation, but wanted to make an attempt at giving @jwfickett an answer.
Where did he even get the tampon from?! If he brought it with him there was so much premeditation, so much time to think about the meaning of the joke.
I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, but I apologize ahead of time if so.
I had a hard time putting my daughter to bed tonight. I subject her to so much golf and golf related content. Hell, she knows the difference between the shotgun start and no laying up intro music.
I was excited when I saw the tiger had join the field this week, but now I feel duped again.
I’m doing my best to make sure she’s sees strength her entire self.
My apologies feel hollow for all the times I haven’t spoken up against this crap.
Here’s to being a bit better tomorrow for my daughter and everyone.
In honour of these discussions I just want to throw out my favourite example of toxic masculinity: a second set of forward tees a smidge behind the reds. Cool, now men can play an appropriate set of tees without having to play the ladies tees. Legitimately had to re-tee at one point because the green marker was in my swing path, but heaven forbid a dude plays the reds
your club?
some more insight to the tee marker gig please, thank you
our club moved up tees everywhere for everyone yet there are still women’s and men’s days LOL
Whenever I’m talking to someone, on course or off, and they refer to the forward tees as the ‘ladies’ tees, I say one of two things;
If I know them: “They’re the forward tees, not ‘ladies’ tees. Tee boxes aren’t gendered”
If I don’t know them (random pairing on the course): “You mean the forward tees?” Less antagonistic, but still sends a subtle message about the nomenclature.
There is a hole at my home course that has a fork in the path to go to the back tees and the forward tees. There is a sign that says " Men’s Tees" and another that says “Ladies Tee ” I really should get stickers that match the font that say “Back” and “Forward” and just paste over them. There are several male golfers I’ve seen who should be playing the reds based on how far they hit it, hopefully one day they will and see how fun it can be.
I just remembered a story from my high school days. One of the kids I grew up with is now a professional on the fringes of the LPGA Tour, she hit it just as far as the boys. A scramble tourney at our home course had a provision that all women would play from the red tees, that was the rule and there was no addendum for someone who could hit it 250+. We formed a team with her and won easily to try and prove a point (and get some of that sweet shop credit), I don’t think it got across to most of the crotchety old men.
Men’s Tees" and another that says “Ladies Tee 
” I really should get stickers that match the font that say “Back” and “Forward” and just paste over them. There are several male golfers I’ve seen who should be playing the reds based on how far they hit it, hopefully one day they will and see how fun it can be.
