NLU Ladies

So, due to some random circumstances, I think I might end up playing my first solo round tomorrow afternoon.

I’m a little anxious, but it could also be really fun? I’ve never played on my own and I feel almost a little concerned that I’m going to either fuck something up or forget where the next hole is, or something stupid like that.

Any ladies here have any stories to help reassure me that I won’t spontaneously immolate tomorrow?

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Do you mean you’re going to be a solo paired with others? If so, don’t apologize for your golf. Play at the proper pace (I think men play much slower than women do), engage the others, and have fun. It’s a game!

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agree with everything @WhatdidDelaware said - and if you mean just you by yourself without anyone else, well then there’s not much you can mess up - just play golf and have fun!

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I play a lot of solo golf completely by myself in which case I usually listen to music and pretend I’m in the LPGA.

And I play a lot of solo golf paired with strangers. I used to start the round by saying “sorry I’m a beginner but I play fast”. I don’t do that anymore because idgaf what they think about my golf game. Most people are too concerned about their own game to give a sh*% about mine anyways. Ask yourself when’s the last time you cared about what some random person you were paired with shot? I certainly don’t remember and don’t care. What I do remember is people who are very outwardly negative or frustrated with their game because it’s awkward, so I try not to subject people to that. I also remember people who are really nice and easy going and I remember people who help me search for my balls :smile: be the second person not the first!

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I meant solo in terms of all by myself. I won’t have to apologize to anyone, which is good, but I’m also the kind of person who would never go to a restaurant by myself.

So I think it’s just the idea of being alone for it? Which is weird, now that I think about it, because I’ve never thought twice about running on my own for the same distance.

I think I’ll try carrying my clubs, too, instead of pushing (this way, if it sucks, I can bail without fucking anyone over).

I’ll report back about my experience tomorrow!

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Oh man. I love playing golf all by myself (esp weeknight twilight 9s). I throw whatever music I want on my clip speaker. I play two balls if it’s empty, I try putts from different areas. It’s so chill. It’s lovely to not have to talk to anyone at all and just do my thing. Seriously just enjoy it.

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I play solo often, especially on Sundays when my regular partners play with husbands. Play two balls, focus on each shot, try to make my best score (since USGA says I can’t post it), and ise the round to learn. And enjoy!

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So, I’m going to potentially complain a little here about the bros on this board who seem to think that female-identifying partners mostly exist to limit any joy that exists pertaining to golf.

For any men who read this and this doesn’t apply to you, know that I’m not talking about you.

Does this make any other women feel a little odd existing in some of these spaces when that sort of joke pops up? Like, when it’s a “I can’t spend more money” joke that doesn’t bother me, because both partners usually have something in that category (the divorce shack makes me giggle, to be honest, and I LOVE that there are people here who like to shop deals as much as I do). But things more like “if the wife will let me go” or “I can’t decorate with what I like once I have a gf/wife/etc.”

If I’m being a little overly sensitive, please let me know—I’m not sure I’m really expressing myself all that well, but I guess it just feels like this place is excessively….bro-y at times.

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The “take my wife- no really take her” stuff really pisses me off, especially since everything points to hetero marriages benefiting men and not women…

But I don’t find this place too bad. For the most part it seems like dudes here are married to really high powered, cool ladies. A bit of “gotta get permission from the wife” but not in a ball and chain way. Yes, probably leans towards bro-y but in the grand scheme of sports culture on the better side

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A group of guys from my club do an annual one week trip to the Big Island (a couple of them have houses there). They always want 8 to go and are kind enough to ask me every year. I demur every year (5 or 6 years now) and finally this year they really pushed me about it. I explained that I have a finite amount of time I can take off every year and I’d rather spend it with my wife than a bunch of dudes. It was as if I was speaking in tongues. Mostly, I felt sorry for them.

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Generally this space is good vs other golf spaces (probably not the best benchmark to use). I’ve only come across a few post that caused me to raise my eyebrows but this one caused a double take and some choking on water. I wonder if the wife complaining is real or the guys just think other guys will think he’s cool if he does it.

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Yikes! I do see posts that are more around prioritizing wife/kids over golf, but that one sucks

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Lol god fuck my wife for asking me to take an interest in my children. What a bitch!

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Thank you for all the perspectives—it’s helpful to know my feelings aren’t crazy, but also that overall, things here are pretty okay.

As an update—I played and carried 18 solo today and shot 101. I had some glorious moments and some horrific disasters, but overall, there was limited immolations and I didn’t give up on my mental game.

I’m very proud of myself, but I think I’m going to be sore as fuck tomorrow.

I would also like to burn my driver, but that’s a me thing, not the driver, and that seems cruel to do to a nice club.

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Nice!!! Sounds like a perfect way to spend a Saturday. You aren’t alone in your feelings.

So what’s the verdict? Would you play solo again?

I think I would! If I have the option to play with my spouse, I would choose that over solo, but it’s definitely something I’d do again. I will probably pushcart it instead of a full on carry, though.

Our home course is very hilly, and while I was still walking the same terrain regardless, the difference of weight on my back vs weight I’m pushing is not insignificant.

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I had the same fear that you do when I first started playing alone, now I prefer it sometimes! :rofl: I’ve had really great experiences for the most part, if I was ever feeling nervous when I got paired up with a group it always has subsided after the first couple of holes, made lots of friends this way too!

Also highly recommend getting into an NLU event, I entered as a solo for the Thirstbucket and other friends also ended up getting in/being there, however that said, I would’ve have been TOTALLY fine had I not known a soul there as it felt like I was leaving friends I’d known forever by the end of the weekend. I actually had several people come up and check in on me to make sure I was feeling comfortable/not getting any grief from anyone, people are truly looking out for each other and want to make sure everyone has a good time. The golf at Thirstbucket was awesome, the people made it special :sunglasses:

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Yes! I still am working on relaxing enough when I’m playing with others. I’m getting better at it, but my social anxiety can be an asshole :upside_down_face:

I’m currently on the way to the Tussle at Tarandowah, and I played in part of the Peoria event last year, and the events are fun! I’m a little afraid of how much we are planning on imbibing on Friday night, but it seems like it’s gonna be a good time!

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We’ll behave ourselves!

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The Women’s Amateur being played at the wonderful Hunstanton is being shown on YouTube.

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