I completed chemo 11 months ago and have technically been in remission a bit longer than that (the cancer disappeared during chemo but we continued the planned regimen). Like you said, there was great joy and gratitude in that result.
What I learned was that the mental aspect changed. Instead of the day to day grind, it became an episodic battle. My post-chemo scans are every 3 months. I was not really prepared for the mental challenge of those last few days before the scan. It’s not like I forgot I had cancer, but for 2+ months, you try to get back in the swing of “normal” life. Then, a few days before the scan, you start to wonder if your life is going to change radically again? And in what new way? It can be a lot to think about. I’m still working on strategies for coping with that.
I truly did not mean to thread jack your good news. I celebrate with you and your family. I want to share my experience in hopes that it might help you navigate your remission journey.
First off, happy holidays! I hope and pray all of you have a great season with friends, family, and maybe a couple of cold, cold beers.
A week from today, the day after Christmas, I’m scheduled for my first round of scans since I went into remission in October.
The last few months have been very very full and rewarding on a personal level. We had:
another lap around the sun
The NIT
Coming in last place at the NIT
Promotion at work (running all creative content for the company I work for.
A weekend in NYC for my wife’s birthday
Taught Arthur how to shake with both paws
We rode the high as long as we can, but now the focus is clearing these scans to stay cancer free. The real difficulty is trying to stay in the moment, especially the days leading up to my appointment.
We’ve been busting our ass making sure I’m in the gym 4 times a week and focusing on a clean diet. (Not easy this time of year)
No matter the result, we keep showing up. If that demon wants to try again, he better bring some new fucking shoes.
If you decide to wear some blue next Thursday, send em my way. Every time I see the blue shoutouts, my spirits lift.
Jake,
I spent a lot of today thinking about this post as I was driving across western Kansas (and it was reinforced when I saw a Trego county line sign on I-70!).
Your honesty and transparency are inspiring to me. Using your story and your struggle to encourage others is incredible.
As I’ve been praying about the stress of my own scan routine, I keep coming back to the words, “Keep showing up.” So that’s what I’m going to do. If my scan is clear, I’m going to work to keep showing up in gratitude in my marriage, my relationships, my physical fitness, and the golf course! And if the scan is not clear, I’m going to keep showing up to kick this disease to the curb.
I appreciate the encouragement that you’ve provided and I hope some small part of this will encourage you.
