Trap Draw: Sin City

I will check it out. Probably is nuts during the Rodeo Finals (which is another great time to come to town; great energy).

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I was in LV in August and am going again this weekend, staying on the strip both times. It is quite a different, less energetic experience due to COVID-19. In August the hotel, restaurants, and casino were completely dead but the pool was packed, and with an unusually high number of little kids. MGM-owned properties have gone back to free parking for now. If you are any kind of gambler and are signed up for the players card programs, there has probably never been a better time since the great recession to get comped rooms or better comped rooms than you usually get. Pretty much all of the convention business has been killed due to COVID-19.

The table games in the casino had plastic dividers between the dealer, you, and the people sitting next to you. Some slot machines turned off for social distancing purposes. Mask use mandatory in the casino. Probably half of the restaurants were closed, unfortunately all of my favorites. Many bars closed, though I don’t drink. Just about all live entertainment venues on the strip are closed. Your entertainment options are gamble, hang out at the pool, or go off property and play golf.

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My wife was pretty on the fence about going to Vegas before, but we’d both go back in a heart beat now. We did the typical tourist experience aside from the afternoon we spent in Summerlin at my friend’s place, but I still really enjoyed it.

I also don’t know if I’ve ever had a better breakfast than at Paris or a better lunch than the prosciutto sandwich at Eataly. Best Friend has some legit menu choices as well.

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Oh man, i can only imagine the middle american man cosplay DD can do during rodeo week.

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The last time I was in Vegas a buddy of mine had to be literally hauled out of House of Blues after getting shit faced at a Steel Panther concert. He didn’t puke in the cab back to the hotel but then proceeded to lay waste to the elevator bank at New York New York.

Everyone but me was too wasted the next day so I spent the day by myself at the MGM Sports Book watching March Madness and taking a trek over to Hoffbrauhaus to hoist a few liters of beer. That night, their idea of fine dining was Outback Steakhouse.

Good times.

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No need. It’s during Shot Show. Plenty of crossover.

Whoa. Shot Show and Rodeo all at the same time? I can hear the Florida Georgia Line playing now.

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While my wife and I were waiting in line to get into LOVE at The Mirage, we watched a girl slap the absolute piss out of her boyfriend to try and wake him up enough that he could get past security and into the show. That didn’t happen.

No more than 50 feet further down the walk, a mid 50s woman had to stop, put her hands on her knees, and then puke all over the concession counter before slipping and falling into her own vomit.

What a show that was.

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Hey, I’ve angrily berated some poor sanitation worker because the Bellagio Fountains weren’t running at some ungodly hour after we drunkenly stumbled out of OShea’s. He took it in stride to his credit.

Vegas man.

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Vegas confession time? I accidentally picked up a hooker at Planet Hollywood and didn’t realize it until we got off the elevator on my floor, at which point I made a run for it.

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“You’re a hooker? I just thought I was doing great with you!”

shout out Dudley Moore.

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I paid $90 for a pre-rolled joint at Rey on the strip. That thing fucked my world up, but is probably the most embarrassing thing I did that weekend.

90 dollars for a joint? Was this a 5 gramer? Thing better have been rolled in liquid acid for that price.

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At Bally’s (ballin on a budget), my best friend proceeded to puke all over the elevator lobby at about 4 am. A staffer walked over, he handed them a $100 and just got on the elevator.

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It was a decent size and rolled in keef, but it was also 1:00am, I was absolutely tanked from whatever the hell it was I had been drinking at Loser’s and the free wine I was guzzling at the Golden Knights game. I didn’t even know I had paid that much until I saw my credit card statement later that month.

Also, fuck the Chick-Fil-A at the Miracle Mile. Damn place doesn’t serve spicy chicken.

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That’s kinda how it went, I was probably half a bottle of vodka deep, It wasn’t until she started using the exact phrase “happy ending” in the elevator while grinding me that I figured it out.

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What? That’d be like McDonald’s not serving Big Macs.

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I was not happy, and I let the poor young woman working the window know.

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Kief ones are solid. Nu leaf dispensary have these double infused oil joints that are fantastic .Reef dispensary have Khalifa kush ones that are tasty.

Not Vegas, but I had a strange woman start grinding on me in a bar in Beijing China. Let me tell you, I was not going to be the lone American in a bar taking a Chinese hooker back to my room. Nosirree bob.