Golden Age Classic - Dallas, TX (07/19/2020)

For the team captains’ knowledge, exactly how queefy would you say your fades are?


You guis have an epic weekend on tap!


Not overly queefy. We’ve been losing a few left lately though.

Coming up from ATX for the weekend, sir. Fam time and toddler birthdays.

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I respect that. Look forward to seeing you out there!

Results from the drafting? Sorry couldn’t make it on tonight

@mctrees02 and I are still drinking bourbon fixing the matches.

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Drink an extra for me

There’s currently a four-player trade underway.

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Sources are reporting that @the_korn_ferry and @MikeHoncho have been traded to the McMaxwell’s in exchange for @WhineyCracker52 and @TCU_AG joining team Bryson’s Pseudo Pony Physics Ionizing Particles or whatever the fuck @DuckDuckHook has named his team.

Further details to come tomorrow…

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The proper team name is “The Higgs bryson Particles.”

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Look, I picked you for our combined mustache powers, but little tree man needed to have all the “Mcs” on the same team to fulfill his bit. I don’t know that the Higgs bryson field could handle the combined mass of our facial hair. It’s just business.

Physicists say there’s much we can still learn from the Higgs bryson itself. What’s known is that the particle’s existence confirms a 55-year-old theory about the origin of mass in the golfing universe. Its discovery won the 2020 Rocket Mortgage Classic, the 2015 NCAA Championship, the 2015 U.S. Amateur, the 2018 Diners Club Peru Open, and the 2019 Price Cutter Charity Championship for two former SMU teammates who proposed this mass-generating mechanism in the face of skinny, bird-chested golfers. The mechanism involves a field permeating all of space. The Higgs particle is a latissimus dorsi ripple, or quantum fluctuation in calories, in this Higgs field. Because quantum mechanics tangles up the particles and fields of nature, the presence of the Higgs field spills over into other quantum fields and causes one to unbutton their polo to their sternum and requires wayfarers to block out the haters; it’s this coupling of speed and swagger that gives their associated particles mass, and leads to massive distance gainzz off the tee.

As captain of The Higgs bryson Particles, we will follow these teachings. Protein powder in my cold brew this morning with some eggs for breakfast, squats and chest day this afternoon. Chasing speed on the range tomorrow morning. Let’s go get it, guis.


Official Team Rosters

Morning and Afternoon match schedule. I believe we’ve accommodated all of the match/time requests here but if there’s something we screwed up please let us know ASAP. We spent 2 or so hours after the draft last night hashing out pairings, and ultimately working out a last minute player trade so the McMaxwell’s roster included every player has Mc in their real name/refuge name…which means there’s about an 83% chance we got everything correct.

We’ll post the NIT qualifying and match rules tonight/tomorrow for those who were unable to join last night and, in a perfect world, you will receive one of those cool one page printouts to have during the event.


Our charitable focus for the event is

We discussed this on the call. You can donate directly, or venmo one of us. There’s no set requirement, and I realize that different folks, especially right now, have different capacity to give. We ask that you give it consideration and give what you’re comfortable, and if you create some fun prop bets on your own round or other rounds to make it more fun, even better.

I’m donating my ace jar, staking my pars/birdies (rare) /eagles (very rare), and a few bucks for Sturm joining us. But I’m also going to stake $5 for every double bogey or worse @McNutty makes in our singles match against each other - OB for the Children!

If you do donate on your own, it would be great if you could DM us so we can announce a final group amount.

Well fellas, according to Forrest it appears my last minute fill-in services are needed. I enjoy long walks on the beach, been known to back up a 74 with a 91, and as any good German Catholic I’m about a 0.6 beers per hole kinda guy.

Looking forward to meeting y’all Sunday. Cheers.


If the “chaser” is in reference to speed and distance, you’re a perfect fit for our team ethos, and to help chop down Forrest and his band of merry Mctrees, McRiddles, and McGalliards.


We’ve encountered a challenge to what remains of my “manhood” (used in the loosest way imaginable).

I’m in $20 for every par made by @DuckDuckHook in the afternoon.