The Rise of Corporatespeak / gatorz doesnt like consulting

Mindshare
Solutioning

@mearley44 get in here.

We work at the big orange box home improvement store so between the two of us I am sure we will have enough to beat plan for this thread.

Top of mind key initiatives are:

  • @mearley44 and I will block off some time to whiteboard the opportunity
  • we will bucketize the goals, then rack and stack them based off alignment with our Core Values
  • Once we identify the headwinds and tailwinds we will cross-collaborate with our prod dev partners to build the business case
  • I’ll build the deck
  • Assuming we get ELT sign off we can make the short putts and hand-off the long term goals for another team to double-click into.

(please note I will be OOO May1-3 with limited access to email. For immediate assistance please reach out to: *[list every MF perosn in the company by dept]

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This whole topic speaks so much to me. My company is so bad with the corporate speak it hurts. Every meeting is a sync and everyone always asks if we have the bandwidth to work on something. There are also more acronyms in presentations than actual words.

Anybody who calls a presentation a “deck” should be shot into the sun.

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Hi @ReidGraber,

Wanted to loop you in to this one as I know you’re a stakeholder on this issue. Let’s touch base next time you’re in town and we’ll put our heads together and create a summary deck we can share to the group to make sure we’re all synergized here.

Regards,
Grant

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Welp, guess me and every other MBA is off to a fiery death

thats ok, this isn’t really in your swim lane.

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Probably my number 1 peeve is anyone who overuses the phrase:

“its all about relationships”

translates to:

"I don’t know WTF Im talking about so hopefully i can meet some people that will make me look good.

I guess the irony in all of this is that;

We all refer to it as NLU
We all want to get to the NIT
& We sit and listen to guys called TC & DJ

:rofl:

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HO-LEEE FUCK the number of acronyms in my daily life in both the economic development/non-profit world and big box retail is mind boggling.

In my first life, there were too many damn organizations trying to 'Fix Detroit" without actually doing anything, so anytime a new acronym popped up you then had to spend 20 minutes figuring out what they actually did, which was usually nothing unique that was a value-add beyond what someone else was already doing.

In my second life, at least the acronyms help distinguish certain networks in a palatable way.

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This is a tough one. Speak to a pro-“Deck” person and call it a presentation or a powerpoint and they look at you like you’re a third grader. So then through repetitive use it becomes the standard nomenclature. But every time I say “Deck” I die a little inside.

When someone says “can you make a deck in powerpoint” I want to scream.

A few of my counterparts call it a “slide-deck” which…I don’t know man…I think is worse, but maybe not?

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We need a master list of these. These are the things that really drive me crazy. The good guy/bad guy one is so overused where I work. Why can’t you just say favorable/unfavorable?.

Another one that gets me is we had discontinued operations for awhile and everyone called it disco. Maybe that’s normal elsewhere, but drove me insane. At least call it disc ops.

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The column headings of my morning report

TYLW, LYLW, TYYTDLW, LYYTDLY, vPYTD,

A coworker and I play conference call bingo all of the time.

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Stealing this ! ,Yoink!

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Hey Team,

I just wanted to circle back on the deliverables re: the project. Per my last email, we had aligned on creating synergy and finding efficiencies by taking on a more collaborative approach. It seems as though we’ve missed the mark on this one and instead provided an alternative solution that just doesn’t cut it nor align with our SOW. I was hoping we would be able to conceptualize a concept that accounts for the consumer journey and capitalizes on the low-hanging fruit.

We’re getting too in the weeds and forgetting about the 30000 foot view here. We should be leveraging our core competencies and categorical expertise in order to create a value-add proposition for our clients.

Do you have the bandwidth to take another stab at this by EOD?

THANKS!
-Matt

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Center vertical column seems like a gimme every call with 5+ people… Same with top-left to bottom right.

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My wife and I were facetiming with some friends, and the wife used “aligned” in response to her husband saying he was going to handle the crabby child in the background. I immediately called her out on it, and she owned it with pride and shame.

yyyyyeeessss