Lifehacks: Ham experts, please come in, also spanish keyboarding class

Lifehack: Bring three oranges to the golf course. Eat one while you’re putting. Make sure your opponents see you eating the first orange. When you get to the first tee, offer your opponent an orange. He or she should take the orange gladly. What they don’t know is you injected 4 shots of vodka into that particular orange the night before. Offer them the third and final orange (also jacked on vodka.) If they take it, you’ll have a fully drunk opponent. If they don’t, save for later.

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This also applies to any situation in which you are graded against your peers - the office, the bar, the gym, etc.

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A jury trial.

Wait. That’s by your peers.

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Why stop at booze?

An acid dosed competitor would be a riot.

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Real lifehack:
Whenever you get a bill from a hospital, call them on it and review the code numbers. Challenge the prices/procedures that seem way out of line.

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Truer words were never spoken. Hospital billing is a racket, honestly I think they throw darts at a a chart to determine the cost of procedures. There is no rhyme or reason.

*I spent a year managing a project collecting medical procedure expenses.

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I have done exactly this and it’s entertaining to try to have somebody in the billing department explain why you needed such and such a thing done when it doesn’t pertain in any way to what you were actually there for.

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I feel like I should know this, but what’s the first gif from?

The Godfather Part 2.

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Molto bene. Seen it once, years and years ago.

This indie flick, barely seen called “The Godfather II”

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A little arthouse film by some Brooklyn hep cat named Coppola. Skip the Godfather II, go directly to Godfather III which is the best movie ever made according to resident cinematic expert @desertduffer

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Are we in the nest right now?

I’ve never seen any of The Godfather trilogy.

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I’m actually more of a 3.5 star guy on Part 3, coincidentally the same grade given by Pulitzer Prize winner Roger Ebert, who just happens to have been @Lazstradamus’s godfather.

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On the real tip, here’s probably the best life hack I can share with the youngsters here.

You: Under 30 years of age, really into golf and currently on a golf message board. Odds are you don’t get many women to go out with you.

Lifehack: Stop giving a shit. As in, ask out everyone you want to ask out with the knowledge that hundreds of other fish will swim up your stream before it’s all done and said.

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What a fucking mensch @desertduffer is…First he let’s everyone know I’m dating/have dated Terri Hatcher and now he drops this nugget.

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When your kids need to pee on a long car ride, choose an off ramp with a holiday inn express or similar offering.

Park right next to front door. Quick in and out. Lobby Bathrooms are always empty and spotless. Don’t have to buy anything for your kids while inside.

Back on road in under 3 minutes.

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Fact: Gweneth Paltrow’s first child might be Yugoslavian…

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Shots fired

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