El Tucan: "ME TOO"


It happened to me in an event of the now-defunct Pepsi Pro Athlete Golf Tour in the early nineties. I was only 19 years old.

The pro at the club where I worked bag room told me there was an event in town with a bunch of former pro jocks from the NFL, MLB and NHL. He said there was a Canadian guy who was a good player and he needed a loop for three days. I had played well in a tournament at the host club so the pro thought of me. I asked how much and the pro said something to the effect of “Given the reputation of the guy who asked me for a caddy, I’m sure he’ll take care of you.” Immediately I’m thinking $1,000.

The guy I caddied for was a good player. He played goalie for the Calgary Flames, Buffalo Sabres and a few other teams. Reminded me of Tom Kite because of his straw hat.
I was dialed in. Wind gusts, reading putts well, strategy, optimism- I was delivering. My guy made a run and he was in the top 10 after 2 days and we had one day left. He said he was going to go back to the hotel and relax and get a good night sleep. I asked him what hotel he was staying at. When he said “Red Roof Inn” I knew I was gonna get stiffed.

Day 3. He played OK golf front nine and got it going a little on the back but it didn’t matter. He finished right around 10th. Paid me $200. I said thanks and went home.

The next day I was back in the bag room and the pro asked how we did. I told him we finished top 10 and I got $200 for the three days. The pro shook his head and went into the pro shop. He came back and gave me another $200 and said “Sorry, kid. Gawddammed cheap ass Canadians…” (note: the pro was Canadian.)

I know I’m not alone. There are others out there like El Tucan who have been slighted, The Refuge is a safe place. Feel free to open up and share your story here.


LMAO at “Me Too” - the best work yet.