Bjorg The Corg - Your Refuge, Your President

Folks, after 24 hours of watching various ‘Fugees pathetically campaign for the first presidency of this Refuge, it became clear that the true leader of this mass of humanity cannot be any human. We are all unfit to run. We need someone, or something, so unbiased that he/she doesn’t even care what your history is nor do they understand it.

That is why I, Mr Bjorg, hereby announce my candidacy for Refuge President.

Why you?

Cause I’m a dog and very good boy. Also humans are mostly worthless, all they do is cause trouble. They got you in this mess, why would you trust them to lead you out? Want to watch me lick my paws for 37 minutes?

But you are a dog, doesn’t that disqualify you?

This wouldn’t be the first time a dog was voted into office. We have won mayoral races all across the world, you can check the tapes. You saying I can’t run a fancy internet forum?

Ok fine, but are you unbiased?

I have no opinion on anything outside of squirrels, peanut butter, and delivery drivers (bad, good, bad). I’m a dog. I sleep 16+ hours a day.

How will you decide anything?

First, I believe nothing really needs to be decided. I will just be a figurehead, like that old British lady that chills with a bunch of my cousins. However, if it comes to it and we need a decision, I will let the Refuge narrow all matters down to the two opposing sides and make a decision via treat vote. I am very good at these and not at all overwhelmed but the idea of having two treats presented at once.

What is your platform?

The best platform is no platform but it boils down to this… no one is fit to lead this place. In a perfect world, there is no President and none of this is even necessary but if we must, vote for dogs. Dogs rule. Plus, I will be asleep all day so you don’t have to worry about me recklessly abusing my powers. You won’t even notice I’m here.

#Bjorg4President
#Corg4President
#DogsRule

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This message is approved by Bjorg The Corg for The Refuge

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ftfy

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Finally, something I can get behind.

The last thing this place needs is an upjumped keyboard warrior given moderator powers.

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(step 1: Ban anonymous burners)

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Does Bjorg have any comment regarding his masterbator’s alleged activities that took place in the bushes near a golf course in Florida?

#refugeafterdark
#aannddyy0022002200

Well as a corgi wrangler myself, it seems we’ve found our candidate. You have Brody’s official endorsement (when he wakes up).

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Dog and Lawn (woke rug) i’m in

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Possible VP here?

Bjorg is not surprised that other candidates are already digging up dirt in an attempt to derail his campaign. As a dog, he will never get into dirty politics and rely on smear tactics such as this. This goes back to his earlier point that humans are unfit to lead.

The official comment is “I have no balls so I don’t understand the alleged act. If that’s the freedom he enjoys, that’s the freedom I intend on preserving here on the Refuge.”

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Brody can neither confirm nor deny the running mate rumors. He would however be honored to share a ball to run after. But definitely not bring it back. That’s what humans are for when they’re not detonating each other on message boards.

Bjorg/Brody 2020? Who can really say.

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I had a driver with a corgi once, does the refuge understand how much dog hair will be all over this place if hes allowed in? The things shed like crazy.

I would like to know Bjorg’s stances on squeaky toys. What’s his average kill count per day on sqeaky toys? I cannot believe that he has no opinion on a preferred toy.

My dog is also asking for his marital status

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I think I’m going to need to see more pictures of Bjorg to make an informed decision…

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Bjorg has no preference on squeaky toys. Most are hidden from view because he has a knack for squeaking the shit out of them during work calls or in the middle of the night. Favorite toy = a long, floppy snowman that gets rag-dolled on a daily basis.

Relationship status = It’s Complicated. Has a on again/off again girlfriend named Salami (also a corgi) at daycare that he’s obsessed with but it’s been a while since they crossed paths.

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Bjorg will be a good president boi

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Bella fully supports Bjorg the Corg and all he stands for.

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Appreciate the honesty here, this shows that the candidate’s willpower may be small, but he is willing to admit it.

Nellie (AKA Mrs. bOrK) offers her support, but not one of her squeakys, as many are dead, and the rest are hers

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This is hands down the best Refuge President thread

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Doxies beat Corgis 10&8

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