Best stories from working at a golf course


#21

A friend of mine and I worked in the bag room in a private club in NC. The club was a lot of fun to work at, but there was one member who was always there and was very annoying. We were only supposed to play on Mondays, but they started to let my friend and I play almost every day after work. One day this annoying member (I will call him Jim Bean) asked to play with us. We did not have much of a choice since we were lucky to be playing at all. So, we are playing with Jim Bean (who has a large beer belly) and we get to 9 which is a dog leg left. My friend has a wedge in, and Jim Bean is standing to his right, but because of the dog leg is actually ahead of him. Well, my friend dead shanks one and hit Jim Bean on the gut from about 10 yards. I can not contain my laughing.
Two weeks later, my friend is going to his PAT (he has since passed) he pulls a wedge on 2, and realizes I took our new label maker and stuck a label on the shaft that read “The Jim Bean memorial Wedge”. Between laughing and remembering the shank, he had trouble for the rest of the day.


#22

Sorry for the length…

I was caddying in high school at a local CC with 27 holes. One of the nines was being redone at the time and the course was having a lot of problems with the contractor - a real jerk named Chad.

There was a really hot day in early summer and my first loop came by. It was with a rather unique and very entertaining member named Jerry that I’d caddied before in the past. I would not call him your protoypical golfer. He is a real “Life is Good” type of guy. Kind of a cross between a Parrot/DeadHead, frequently lit up a joint on the course, probably named after Jerry Garcia, always wearing golf sandals. A more athletic “Dude” from Big Lebowski should give you a good image. Extremely chill, but apparently very rich from recently selling a business.

The first three holes of the round proceeded as usual. Jerry would yoga stretch and deep breath between shots, select a club, hit an average to below average shot, then move on. Nothing fazed this guy. Constantly talked about how great life is, the beautiful day, “what a great morning to be alive!”, etc. Extremely relaxed demeanor.

We get to the fourth hole, a par 3 - one of the only holes on the golf course where you can view the active construction on the third nine. As we approach the tee box, we notice quite a commotion on the “lake” next to the green. In the middle of the lake with only the tank treads visible is an upside down excavator and a very angry Chad the contractor screaming at the operator standing on shore. It looked like the operator got a little overzealous while dredging the lake to make it bigger.

Jerry says “hmph, that sucks” and chuckles a little. He then hits his tee ball. As we walk off the tee he angles towards the lake. That’s when I saw a side of Jerry I never expected…

He strolls over towards the commotion and yells "Hey Chad, that looks expensive! Too bad, sucker!"
Chad: “Go F-yourself, Jerry.”

Jerry laughs, strolls to the green, nails the putt for birdie. As we stroll to the next hole he says “Now THIS is the best day I’ve ever had on a golf course.” I’m thinking this is more Life is Good BS when he explains further…

“See, I just finished the sale of my construction company and all my equipment to that asshole Chad…and that excavator is probably worth about $800,000. Life IS good.”


#23

I once had to drive a drunk off his ass Ryan mallett back from the course to the hotel resort I worked for in Austin after he got cut by the Texans. It was like 11 in the morning and he couldn’t drive his cart. He left his clubs in the bag room and they might still be there to this day.

Super nice guy though. Glad he got back into the league.


#24

A couple of NHL/AHL hockey (Bruins) players (now, former-NHL) came to play at Exeter Country Club in Rhode Island, they were regulars at the course. My shift was up and I snuck out the back to play 9. Ran into them on 10th tee, joined up with them. Had some beers, heard some unreal stories. Just a cool round to hang with those guys and play some golf.

Another day, the same guys + another Bruin was out and on the 13th hole, and the other Bruin, Matt Bartkowski got a call from GM Peter Chiarelli saying he had been called up from Providence to Boston for the 2013 playoffs. Pretty sweet.


#25

Worked as a cart boy for a couple summers in high school. The bar/grille’s beer storage closet was in the back of the cart barn and usually left unlocked. We used to put a trash can on the back of a cart, toss in a couple cases of beer and drive out like we were taking out the trash. then just head to the parking lot and toss them in our cars.

word got out and random dudes from high school started showing up asking to buy cases from us.


#26

Caddied at a country club when I was 13. Had no knowledge on being a forecaddy other than It paid better than carrying one bag. So, I agreed and after the first tee realized I’d be sprinting down every fairway to await the deluge of errant shots as I hid behind a tree, listening to limbs snap off around me. Looking back, that might have been the last round I caddied.


#27

I worked as a bag boy at a country club in college. I’m three days into the job when the head pro calls me into the shop and tells me that I needed to go to the bar (at 7:30 a.m.) get two bottles of Dom and drive them to member X, who lives off the 14th hole tee box.

I proceed to grab the booze, head down 13 fairway where I can see said member hitting a bucket of balls into every fairway but 14. As I get closer I realize Mr. Big Shot is taking cuts in nothing but a bath robe, and it’s not tied very tightly. I drove up to the back of the tee box, hollered, set the Dom down and hauled ass out of there before I saw anything I couldn’t un-see.

I found out later that day that he was some giant marketing big wig that worked for a major car manufacturer and had come up with the one of the most iconic slogans used in their commercials. I also found out that this particular experience was an almost bi-weekly event for him, fortunately I only had to go once.


#28

So the clubs weren’t in the pond?


#29

Had an 80 year old member complain the toilet water in the locker room was far too full because every time he sat down his balls would drop in the water. Take a minute to picture that…


#30

This happened while I was working in the pro shop at a private course in Kentucky, so I heard the story from several witnesses including the rescuer as the groups who were nearby finished their rounds. On a par 3 with a large pond, almost tee to green pond, one golfer skulls one dead into a flock of ducks right in the middle of the pond. It nails one of the ducks on the head, and the duck is stunned but not killed. It’s flapping and flopping helplessly on the surface of the water. One of the other players in the foursome, an older, retiree who used to be a play-by-play guy for the University of Louisville sports, and now lives in a house on the golf course, charges off the tee, dives into the pond, swims out to the floundering duck and swims it back to safety. Guy must have been 75 if not early 80s. Takes the duck back to his house, where he fed it and nursed it back to health over the next several weeks. I remember him saying, to a group of incredulous members in the clubhouse who thought he was crazy, “That was a living creature who had a chance at life. I had to do it.”


#31

Except Canadian Geese… They can go straight to hell.


#32

I worked as a cart boy at a retirement community (55+) when i was in high school. There was one lady who was a member who was known for trying to hold on to her youth, dyed blonde hair and a ton of makeup, while she was easily 65 or older.

One day I was working as a cart boy and the lady mentioned above finishes playing with three other ladies. As I was cleaning their clubs, there was a board with the scores from men’s league that morning that her husband plays in. She goes over and checks the scores and sees that her husband had come in first place. She then says, loud enough for anyone within 10 feet to hear, “Oh Frank won this morning, guess who is getting a blow job tonight”.

The mental image alone made me want to go throw up in the cart barn trash bin


#33

Yeah, he was headed to another course the next day so he put his clubs in his trunk before returning the cart.


#34

Had something similar happen at a club golf tournament I played in. Finished out on a hole and was driving to the next and I see 2 guys standing in the middle of the cart path. They had some how driven the cart of the double wide cart path and dumped into a 8 feet in diameter drainage pipe nose first. As the cart is sinking, one of the guys runs back down to the cart to get his wallet and can of dip out. Unfortunately, this was before I had a decent camera phone so no evidence exists.


#35

I’ve got 2 good ones from my HS years working a grounds crew. This was a 9 hole CC in a small town that wasn’t very nice at the time. Since it has been completely redesigned into 18 holes that is always in tour condition. It was not like that when I worked there. Both of these involve aerification. 1) While core drilling in June a nasty cold front blew in and a really bad storm was quickly approaching. We were all on the 3rd green shoveling the cores off of the green and I mentioned that I thought we should all head in because the lightning was getting close. The Super just looked at me and laughed and said “get back to work, we need to finish”, not 10 seconds later a bolt of lightning nailed the tree next to the green and we all dove on the ground(you could feel the heat) and the tree exploded all over us. We called it a day after that. 2) In late summer one year, after a really hot, humid, rainy summer we started deep coring on the green next to the maintenance shed, after the 1st pass on the edge of the green it literally looked like someone had taken a roto tiller to it because there was very little roots from the stressful summer. I went and got the Super and he came out and said, “Well, we have to do it now before winter” so he had us continue and we completely destroyed all the greens, it took 2 years to get them somewhat decent after that, I couldn’t believe it. Crazy part is that he didn’t get fired because his dad was the Super before him and was so loved the members wouldn’t do anything to him. It was a boating club anyway but it was just amazing he kept his job. Since the redesign they have moved him to taking care of the clubs flower beds(which he was actually really good at), thank god because the place is awesome now. He was a really nice guy, just sucked as a Super.


#37

Would this be located on one of the Great Lakes?


#38

Yes it is. CIC in Port Clinton, have you ever played there?


#39

I assumed as much. I’ve never played up there. I manage a course in Findlay but have never found the way to get up there.


#40

Worked at a private country club in high school. This one member was routinely a big tipper and had a smoke wife. During our member guest he left his keys and phone in his bag. Comes back to get them and asks if we found anything else in there. One of the other guys says “yea, we got your wifes number.” He stopped tipping us after that day.


#41

I’m amazed every time I visit up there now at how nice it is, possibly the best greens I’ve ever putted on.